Being queer, and how it affects my mental health

In 2018 when I first came out to myself as being bisexual it was scary.  I was in shock when I realized it.  All the what if questions spiraled in my head.

My anxiety was all over the place. What would people think when I told them?  What if people don’t like me?  And what if my parents don’t accept me?

I held the secret for a year. Until I told a group of women during a Zoom call. We were in a class all about speaking our own truth and overcoming fear.  It was there where I grew my courage muscle and told my parents.  I was frozen in fear though. I had proof from my growing up years. My anxiety was spiking when I wrote them.  I remember writing as I was crying through the snot and tears I hit send on my email.  

Just last year when I told my parents I had a girlfriend for the first time I was again so nervous. Luckily back in 2019 when I came out to them I was loved and accepted by my parents.  

My girlfriend and I proposed to each other on June 4, 2022 in Canmore, Alberta.  I am so happy.

Do I still have anxiety spikes?  Yes.  There is fear at times to hold my fiancé’s hand here in Calgary.  And I have experienced hate speech 2 blocks from my condo.  

I choose to keep going and be proud to be a part of the LGBTQ2S+ community.  I am an advocate for this community too.  

If my story is your story I see you.  I am you.  If you are still in the closet and in fear I see you too.  I will sit with you and hold space.

Always remember, be brave.  Be bold.  Be yourself!

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